“Patient Escorts transport conscious,
semi-conscious and/or unconscious patients to and from floors and
treatment areas in a campus hospital and/or clinic facility; and
perform other related duties as required. Incumbents typically
transport patients in gurneys and/or wheelchairs; pick up and deliver
routine and/or emergency reports, specimens, and patient care
equipment; may determine priorities of requests for service; and may
transport critically ill comatose or semi-comatose patients under the
direct supervision of medical or nursing staff personnel. Incumbents
are primarily involved in the transportation of patients.”
If you had told me that I would be
moving dead bodies for about ten dollars an hour I would I would have
asked you what ancient gods whose names have long since been
forgotten that I somehow upset. Before I talk about moving corpses
let's go back a little bit. To 1997. Discman still existed. DVD's
were a rumor. Grunge was still a thing. You still had to get photos
developed. It was a glorious time.
Working at the hospital was my very
first job. At that time I was a Unit Support Associate. That is a
fancy name for garbage man. Well, I also served patients food. Yeah.
Wrap your head around that for a second. I would clean rooms infected
with diseases, mop around crying family members feet, take out the
trash, make the beds, dust, and then when the food cart arrived serve
them food that smelled the same no matter what it was. How do you
make eggs, bacon, and toast smell exactly like steak and potatoes?
How, Sway?!